Wednesday, June 13, 2012
How to Fake Your Confidence
Confidence is the key to success today.
Be it at your workplace or in your personal relationships, confidence is a personality trait everyone looks for. You should seem like someone who knows what he’s doing, even if you don’t in reality. Although we all know that confidence comes and goes. We all get nervous. In those situations one needs to fake confidence. This is how you do it:
Show your teeth
By which I mean smile. Smiling, even when you don’t feel like, perks you up. It cheats your mind into thinking that you’re in a happy place. It also immediately puts people around you at ease. But don’t keep on smiling like some crazy person. Only when required. It is also one of the top ways for someone to tell if the other person is confident.
Being decisive
Be decisive. Don’t dilly-dally around the coffee machine endlessly trying to choose between ginger-lemon or masala tea. Just pick one and leave. Confident people have no time to hesitate. If you continue to be this way, you will bring the same behaviour to a boardroom or to a family dinner.
Body language
Keep your back straight and your chin up. Don’t slouch. Think of our Indian team on the field when they are winning and compare it with the matches that they lost. You will see a drastic difference in the way they carry themselves. Walk with an even gait. Don’t walk too fast or too slow, just the right amount of speed. Work on your body language.
Know what you want to say
Don’t ramble and stammer. Don’t say you know something when you don’t, because it would be really embarrassing if the other person catches your bluff. Think before you speak and respond only when absolutely necessary. Don’t indulge in too much chit-chat or irrelevant conversations.
Eye contact
When speaking to someone, maintain eye contact. Don’t stare, don’t gawk, but maintain a constant contact. Don’t look here and there when you’re conversing. Not only will you seem restless, but also as someone who has something to hide.
Confidence comes from within. But these tips and tricks can help you at least seem confident in situations when you aren’t.
A good speaker do not remember what to speak He speak what should be remembered.
"Although we all know what to do, successful people do what they know."
Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
Silence is good, because you never have to explain something you didn't say.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Life doesn't change
A group of working adults got together to visit their University lecturer. The lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.
The Lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for themselves.
When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer spoke: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup, but we unconsciously went for the better cups."
"Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold/maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."
"If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy, taste and appreciate the water in it."
The lecturer continued his advice and said: "According to Noble Qur'an, the Sources of our problems are four:
We strain our eyes in longing for the things which other people have, and forget our own bounties given by Allah and forget to enjoy them. Noble Qur'an says:
(20:131) Nor strain your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to parties of them, the splendor of the life of this world, through which We test them: but the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.
We complain so much about trivial pains and problems we face in this world, while forget the actual suffering we may face in the Hereafter due to our wrongdoings and negligence. We also forget to realize that actual pleasure is in fulfilling our duty to ease the sufferings of people around us. Noble Qur'an says:
(20:127) And thus do We recompense him who transgresses beyond bounds and believes not in the Signs of his Lord: and the Penalty of the Hereafter is far more grievous and more enduring.
We are so much after the conveniences and glitter of this world that we forget the core purpose of our life; which is a test with full of sufferings in order to obtain reward of PARADISE from our Lord in the Hereafter. Noble Qur'an says:
(28:60) The (material) things which you are given are but the conveniences of this life and the glitter thereof; but that which is with Allah is better and more enduring: will you not then be wise?
We take the life in the world as permanent and spend all our sources just building it as if death is for 'somebody else and not me', while we forget the fact that eternal life is that of Hereafter.
(87:17) But the Hereafter is better and more enduring.
Let us stop complaining and enjoy and appreciate our life which is an investment for a blissful eternal life in the Hereafter.
what's your decision
A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.
The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?
Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make...
Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?
Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.
The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few ignorant kids.
While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.
"Remember that what's right isn't always popular and what's popular isn't always right."
Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.
A REASON, A SEASON, A LIFETIME
People always come into your life for
.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
A Reason
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
Or to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
A Season
When people come into your life for a SEASON,
It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,
The season eventually ends.
A Lifetime
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person anyway;
And put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being part of my life,
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Monday, June 11, 2012
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