Change Your Thoughts...

7 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A More Powerful Person

1. Nobody is actually too busy to respond to you.

That guy or girl isn’t too busy to answer your text. That employer isn’t too busy to answer your email. If you’re not hearing back from someone, it’s because they have deliberately chosen not to answer you. And the sooner you stop making excuses for the people who don’t make you a priority, the sooner you can move on to the people and situations that do.

2. Everyone has his or her own best interests at heart.

No matter how genuine, kindhearted or caring a particular person is, they’re always going to be more aware of their own needs than they are of yours. Even the most attentive lover may not realize they’re pushing your buttons if you never tell them they’re doing so. Even the most honest employer may not be aware that they’re working you into the ground if you just keep accepting more work.

Unfortunately, other people are going to be aware that they’re stretching your limits, but will nonetheless push you unless and until they encounter resistance. Most people are going to take as much from you as you let them get away with – which means it’s up to you to define and uphold your own boundaries. The most powerful people aren’t afraid to say ‘No,’ to what they don’t want to do – because they know that nobody’s going to stick up for them if they don’t stick up for themselves.

3. You are never going to please everybody.

If you actually listened to what every single person wanted from you, you’d end up a lifeless, shapeless, emotionless blob. And then someone would come along and tell you to be more interesting.

The truth is, it’s impossible to please everybody. There will always be someone who’s offended by the most traditional life path or bored by the most radical one. You’re going to be criticized no matter what you do, so you might as well do what you love. Because if there’s anyone whose judgment you should listen to, it’s your own.

4. The world owes you absolutely nothing.

You may be the coolest, kindest, smartest, most interesting person in the world, but if you’re not putting any of those traits to work, you’re entitled to absolutely nothing in exchange for possessing them.

Truly powerful people know that there are two basic choices: You can spend your entire life feeling sorry for yourself because you deserve more than you’re getting, or you can go out into the world and actually claim what’s yours. Guess which choice the more successful people tend to opt for?

5. The prize for arguing on behalf of your restrictions is getting to keep them.

You can spend your entire life loudly declaring to others that you don’t have the time, money, energy or resources to accomplish the things you actually want. And all of what you claim may be true – but the harsh truth is, every single person on the planet has at least one damn good excuse for not pursuing the life they want.

The difference between the people who get what they want out of life and those who don’t is that the people who get what they want ignore their excuses. They find a way around their limitations, instead of just bitching about them, and that is the very reason why they succeed.

6. Your actions define you, not your thoughts.

You can sit indoors all day conceptualizing a better world, but until you get out there and start implementing change, you’re not actually making a difference. Good intention is a wonderful thing but unless it’s coupled with action, it counts for nothing. At the end of the day, your character is determined by what you do, not by what you think about.

7. Nobody is coming to save you from your life.

We all want to believe that the person of our dreams, the job opportunity of a lifetime or the surprise that we never expected is waiting around the corner for us. When we’re unhappy with where we are, we irrationally hope that a drastic change in circumstance will come along and save us from our misery.

But the truth of the matter is, life doesn’t work that way. Nobody’s heading your way on a white horse and if you want to see change in your life, you have to create it from the ground up.

This is what the most powerful people know. When times get tough, the strongest people strap on their own armor, mount that white horse and come to their own rescue. Because they know that if anyone is going to save their day, it’s going to have to be them.

 By Heidi Priebe

What is Success?

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”- Thomas A. Edison

Success is a funny thing. 

It means different things to different people, but there is no disputing the fact that everyone wants it. 

What is funny is that not everyone achieves it in the same way or indeed at the same pace. To some it seems to come too easily, but to others after a very long struggle, if at all. 

Rather than getting disheartened, it is a far better idea to understand that it is important to never give up, because success is yours for the taking. The only reason you haven’t found it is that you looked in the wrong place. So rather than mop and moan, which will amount to nothing, you have to look someplace else. Find it, you will.

Did you know that Thomas A. Edison tested a mind boggling 6000 materials to be used as the filament in the new improved electric light bulb he was designing, before he zeroed in on carbonized bamboo? Edison wasn’t an exception. You would be surprised at the kind of disappointments and heart-breaks most super achievers and celebrities faced when they started off. It was only because they were made of sterner stuff and knew that success could be theirs if they didn’t stop seeking it, did they achieve what they always desired.

It’s not for nothing that Winston Churchill once said, “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” Take the case of the billionaire authoress JK Rowling, who achieved the super success she did by writing the Harry Porter series of books only after she had had a string of miserable failures. This included a failed marriage, penury and twelve consecutive rejections of the manuscript of the book that she had so painstakingly created, by indifferent publishers. Most people would have thrown in the towel, but she did not and look at her now.

Did you also know that Walt Disney was given the boot by a newspaper editor because he apparently lacked imagination?! Even the first animation company he founded went under and before he finally received financial backing for Disney World, his proposal was turned down a record 302 times! If these worthies could fail so spectacularly and yet attain unbelievable success, it was not on account of good fortune shining on them, but because they chased after success relentlessly. 

Didn’t Paulo Coelho once say, “And, when you want something, all entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it?” This notable formula for achieving success has always been known to man since ages. It is part of the cultural ethos of mankind. This explains why there are so many phrases and idioms that extol the virtue of persistence- fortune favors the brave, when the going gets tough the tough get going, if at first you don’t success, try, try, try again, and so on.

Like all good things in life success does not come easy, you have to work for it. One may turn around and talk about people who inherit fortunes or win lotteries and claim that these people achieved success without working hard for it. Well that’s not true at all. Inherited money is never seen, as a sign of success. If the person inheriting the money wants to grow or even maintain their inheritance they will have to work hard at it. Else they may just blow up their fortune and even if they don’t; you really don’t think that they would be considered worthy role-models? 

In fact, if you ask the child of an ace sportsperson or an iconic actor who decided to take up  their parent’s profession, they would tell you that it is doubly hard for them to prove their worth, for they would forever live in their famous parent’s shadow! Often they take a lifetime to be recognized for who they are rather than whose progeny they are. So success by its very intrinsic nature demands that you earn it.

The difference between those who achieve success and those who don’t is in the latter giving up at some stage in their striving for it. If you don’t give up, no matter what, you are bound to succeed, even on account of the mathematical law of probability! This is not a light remark. One can practically check out the veracity of the fact. It could be anybody at any stage of life.

Persistence and positivity in the face of adversity swings things in one’s favour in many ways including physiological. It is proven science that positivity changes the neural pathways that carry messages from the brain to the rest of the body in a positive way. This in a sense programs a person to succeed and do well. Once you start believing that you will achieve success you will on your own start taking the right decisions that will inexorably put you on the path to success.

Talk to any successful person and they will tell you that it was self-belief more than anything else that got them where they were. Sure there was a lot of strife, struggle and disappointment along the way, but because of their tremendous self-belief they persevered. There inevitable success came a time when they hit the sweet spot and after that there was no looking back. You could compare this to a supersonic aircraft approaching the sound barrier. There is turbulence and there is a booming sound at the time it goes through it, but after that there is sheer speed and exhilaration.

We all have it in us to crash through the sound barriers in our lives and achieve the desired speed or success that truly belongs to us. But in order for that to happen we have to step up the speed and apply total focus on the task ahead. If we slacken speed the desired success will forever elude our grasp. It is in staying the course and surging ahead with all we got that our salvation lies. Go for broke.

Dt News 

Leaders are Readers

11 Books Every Young Leader Must Read

Recently, I wrote that

 leaders should be readers

 Reading has a host of benefits for those who wish to occupy positions of leadership and develop into more relaxed, empathetic, and well-rounded people. One of the most common follow-up questions was, “Ok, so what should I read?”

That’s a tough question. There are a number of wonderful reading lists out there. For those interested in engaging classic literature, Wikipedia has a list of “The 100 Best Books of All Time,” and Modern Library has picks for novels and nonfiction. Those interested in leadership might consult the syllabus for David Gergen’s leadership course (PDF) at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government or the syllabus his colleague Ron Heifetz uses for his course on adaptive leadership (PDF).

But if I had to focus on a short list for young business leaders, I’d choose the 11 below. I’ve only included books I’ve actually read, and I tried to compile a list that includes history, literature, psychology, and how-to. Variety is important — novels can enhance empathy; social science and history can illuminate lessons from other times and fields that might be relevant to your own; and at the very least, reading broadly can make you a more interesting conversationalist. But I have tried to make all the choices directly relevant to young businesspeople interested in leadership.

Invariably, many people will think some of the choices are poor or that the list is incomplete, but I hope it can serve as a start for young business leaders looking for literature to help them chart their careers.

Marcus Aurelius, The Emperor’s Handbook. Emperor of Rome from 161 to 180 A.D., Marcus Aurelius is considered one of history’s “philosopher kings,” and his Meditations were perhaps his most lasting legacy. Never meant to be published, Marcus’ writings on Stoicism, life, and leadership were the personal notes he used to make sense of the world. They remain a wonderful insight into the mind of a man who ruled history’s most revered empire at the age of 40 and provide remarkably practical advice for everyday life. This is the translation I’ve found most accessible.

Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning. Viktor Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist who survived life in the Nazi concentration camps. Man’s Search for Meaning is really two books — one dedicated to recounting his frightening ordeal in the camps (interpreted through his eyes as a psychiatrist) and the other a treatise on his theory, logotherapy. His story alone is worth the read — a reminder of the depths and heights of human nature — and the central contention of logotherapy — that life is primarily about the search for meaning — has inspired leaders for generations.

Tom Wolfe, A Man in Full. Tom Wolfe founded the New Journalism school and was one of America’s most brilliant writers of nonfiction (books and essays like The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test) before he became one of her most notable novelists. Often better known for his portrait of 1980s New York, The Bonfire of the Vanities, A Man in Full is his novel about race, status, business, and a number of other topics in modern Atlanta. It was Wolfe’s attempt, as Michael Lewis noted, at “stuffing of the whole of contemporary America into a single, great, sprawling comic work of art.” It’s sure to inspire reflection in burgeoning leaders.

Michael Lewis, Liar’s Poker. One of the first books I read upon graduating college, Liar’s Poker is acclaimed author Michael Lewis’ first book — a captivating story about his short-lived postcollegiate career as a bond salesman in the 1980s. Lewis has become perhaps the most notable chronicler of modern business, and Liar’s Poker is both a fascinating history of Wall Street (and the broader financial world) in the 1980s and a cautionary tale to ambitious young business leaders about the temptations, challenges, and disappointments (not to mention colorful characters) they may face in their careers.

Jim Collins, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Others Don’t. What does it take to make a great company, and what traits will young businesspeople need to lead them? Jim Collins introduced new rigor to the evaluation of business leadership in his instant classic Good to Great, with a research team reviewing “6,000 articles and generating 2,000 pages of interview transcripts.” The result is a systematic treatise on making a company great, with particularly interesting findings around what Collins calls “Level 5 Leadership” that have changed the face of modern business.

Robert Cialdini, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Persuasion is at the heart of business, where leaders must reach clients, customers, suppliers, and employees. Cialdini’s classic on the core principals of persuasion is a sterling example of the cross application of psychological principles to business life. Based on his personal experiences and interviews — with everyone from expert car salesmen to real estate salespeople — Cialdini’s book is riveting and, yes, persuasive. It serves as a great introduction to other works by modern writers like Malcolm Gladwell and Steven Levitt, who translate theories from the social and physical sciences into everyday life.

Richard Tedlow, Giants of Enterprise: Seven Business Innovators and the Empires They Built. Richard Tedlow taught one of my favorite business school classes, The Coming of Managerial Capitalism, and this book is something like a distillation of a few of the high points of that class. Giants of Enterprise chronicles the lives of some of the businesspeople — Carnegie, Ford, Eastman, Walton — who shaped the world we live in today. It’s a brief introduction to the figures and companies who built modern business for the young business leader seeking to shape the future.

Niall Ferguson, The Ascent of Money: A Financial History of the World. Financial capital is at the heart of capitalism. Any young person aspiring to business leadership should understand the financial world we live in. Ferguson is one of our era’s preeminent popular historians, and The Ascent of Money traces the evolution of money and financial markets from the ancient world to the modern era. It’s an essential primer on the history and current state of finance.

Clayton M. Christensen, The Innovator’s Dilemma: When New Technologies Cause Great Firms to Fail. Clay Christensen was recently ranked the world’s greatest business thinker by Thinkers50, and his breakout book was a thoughtful tome on innovation and “disruption” called The Innovator’s Dilemma. All of Christensen’s books are essential reads, but this is perhaps the most foundational for any young leader wondering how to drive business innovation and fight competitors constantly threatening to disrupt his or her business model with new technology.

Stephen R. Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey’s book represents the best in self-help. His advice — about prioritization, empathy, self-renewal, and other topics — is both insightful and practical. Seven Habits can be useful to the personal and professional development of anyone charting a career in business.

Bill George, True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership. A hallmark of next-generation business leaders is a focus on authenticity. Bill George has pioneered an approach to authentic leadership development articulated well in his second book, True North. George (who, full disclosure, I’ve coauthored with before) conducted more than 100 interviews with senior leaders in crafting the book, and offers advice for young leaders on knowing themselves and translating that knowledge into a personal set of principles for leadership.

So what are your picks? Aside from a list for “young business leaders,” are there others you’d propose?

John Coleman

LEADERSHIP

What Is Leadership?

 

What is leadership, anyway?

Such a simple question, and yet it continues to vex popular consultants and lay people alike. I’ve now written several books on leadership for employee engagement, and yet it occurred to me that I never actually paused to define leadership.

Let’s start with what leadership is not…

Leadership has nothing to do with seniority or one’s position in the hierarchy of a company. 

Too many talk about a company’s leadership referring to the senior most executives in the organization. They are just that, senior executives. Leadership doesn’t automatically happen when you reach a certain pay grade. Hopefully you find it there, but there are no guarantees.

Leadership has nothing to do with titles. 

Similar to the point above, just because you have a C-level title, doesn’t automatically make you a “leader.” In all of my talks I stress the fact that you don’t need a title to lead. In fact, you can be a leader in your place of worship, your neighborhood, in your family, all without having a title.

Leadership has nothing to do with personal attributes. 

Say the word “leader” and most people think of a domineering, take-charge charismatic individual. We often think of icons from history like General Patton or President Lincoln. But leadership isn’t an adjective. We don’t need extroverted charismatic traits to practice leadership. And those with charisma don’t automatically lead.

Leadership isn’t management. 

 This is the big one. Leadership and management are not synonymous.  You have 15 people in your downline and P&L responsibility? Good for you, hopefully you are a good manager. Good management is needed. Managers need to plan, measure, monitor, coordinate, solve, hire, fire, and so many other things. Typically, managers manage things. Leaders lead people.

So, again, what is Leadership?

Let’s see how some of the most respected business thinkers of our time define leadership, and let’s consider what’s wrong with their definitions.

Peter Drucker: "The only definition of a leader is someone who has followers."

Really? This instance of tautology is so simplistic as to be dangerous. A new Army Captain is put in the command of 200 soldiers. He never leaves his room, or utters a word to the men and women in his unit. Perhaps routine orders are given through a subordinate. By default his troops have to “follow” orders. Is the Captain really a leader? Commander yes, leader no. Drucker is of course a brilliant thinker of modern business but his definition of leader is too simple.

Warren Bennis: "Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.”

Every spring you have a vision for a garden, and with lots of work carrots and tomatoes become a reality. Are you a leader? No, you’re a gardener. Bennis’ definition seems to have forgotten “others.”

Bill Gates: "As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others."

This definition includes “others” and empowerment is a good thing. But to what end? I’ve seen many empowered “others” in my life, from rioting hooligans to Google workers who were so misaligned with the rest of the company they found themselves unemployed. Gates’ definition lacks the parts about goal or vision.

John Maxwell: "Leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less."

I like minimalism but this reduction is too much. A robber with a gun has “influence” over his victim. A manager has the power to fire team members which provides a lot of influence. But does this influence make a robber or a manager a leader? Maxwell’s definition omits the source of influence.

So what is leadership?

DEFINITION: Leadership is a process of social influence, which maximizes the efforts of others, towards the achievement of a goal.

Notice key elements of this definition:

    · Leadership stems from social influence, not authority or power

      · Leadership requires others, and that implies they don’t need to be “direct reports”

    · No mention of personality traits, attributes, or even a title; there are many styles, many paths, to effective leadership

   · It includes a goal, not influence with no intended outcome

Lastly, what makes this definition so different from many of the academic definitions out there is the inclusion of “maximizes the efforts”. Most of my work is in the area of employee engagement, and engaged employees give discretionary effort.

I guess technically a leader could use social influence to just organize the efforts of others, but I think leadership is about maximizing the effort. 

It’s not, “Hey everyone, let’s line up and get to the top of that hill someday.” 

But rather, “Hey, see that hill? 

Let’s see how fast we can get to the top…and I’ll buy the first round for anyone who can beat me up there.”

 So what do you think of my definition of leadership? 

 Social influence, others, maximize effort, towards a goal. 

Do those key elements work for you?

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       Kevin Kruse   

        CONTRIBUTOR

How change can be good for you!

Why do we change?

Something we ask ourselves almost daily. Something we experience from people who were once so close but now are miles away.

Something that we all hate, but just like rain in January; it’s inevitable. Change, no matter how good it is for us, we tend to resist it. No matter how bright our future may seem ahead after that change, our brains still linger on to what we know. Our hands tremble from fear of the unknown.

Our heart calls on the past one more time to take the last walk through these roads we know like the back of our hands. Change isn’t just about people, your job, or even your address. Sometimes change comes from within, you stop liking the things you liked, you stop loving the people you loved, and you simply stop tolerating what you could handle for the past decade. Just like a baby who does not want to be breast fed anymore, he reaches out for a spoon. The thing about change is, it’s the beginning of every new chapter in this book called Life.

It’s the sign of a new start and an ending to what was once a “start”. Nothing stays the same; you yourself weren’t consistent throughout this life of yours. Every once in a while you look for something new to do, you meet new people and seek new friends, you change your haircut or color, you even don't maintain the same body so why do you expect things to stay the same when even You have changed?

The best thing about change is that it can be good and if it’s not good, that will change !

By: May Rostom

(!@#$%^&*) "DOODLE" Secrets you should KNOW...

                                                                                    

Yes Most of us DOODLE! Even if we don't admit to it!

But whatever the doodle, it is often a totally unconcious drawing whilst our mind is concentrating somewhere else.

It is surprizing to that we  tend to repeat the same selection of favourite patterns,i.e dots,boxes,triangles.circles.our names- the choice is endless.doodling can help to relieve tension particularly if we press hard it is said that it can calm our nerves too.

i.e. dots, boxes, triangles, circles, ouryyscious drawing whilst our mind
It's surpd tend to repeat the same selection of favourite patter

particularly if we press hard it is said that it can calm our nerves t

Why do we doodle?

Because we are unlocking some of the hidden anxieties in our everyday life.

But what do they mean?

Let's work out a few explanations.

Stairs and steps - open to relationships

Webs - an intricate web shows a desire to accumulate friends, money and status

Squares as opposed to rounded shapes indicate a need for order and structure

Slashed lines - this is an angry person

Open boxes - a practical and logical thinker

Writing your own name over and over again means egotism

Bold arrows - very determined, great drive, direct

Retraced patterns - a perfectionist

Triangles - Suggest an aggressive personality, highly competitive

Flowers - are imagination - love of beauty and a search for love

''People who DOODLE learn Faster''

Self_Love

Dig and honor yourself—self-love is the first step to lasting change. 

Having a glowing vision of the future helps you tackle the core beliefs about yourself—such as doubts about your own worthiness for success—that have held you back until now. So as you peel back the curtains around your core self, you become ready to tap the source of all change and success—self-love, and forgiveness for past failures.

Self-love doesn't happen by luck or the grace of God. You have to create it. These are among the most important elements of it.

• Honoring yourself and who you really are. Love is your birthright. As Teilhard de Chardin said, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience."
• Telling the highest truth, which is that we are powerful beings capable of creating joy and success or pain and suffering in our lives. We are not destined to be victims. We have the power to choose, and this power is both the greatest responsibility we have and the greatest opportunity.
• Honoring who you are becoming. Self-love involves recognizing that you are constantly evolving and growing to become a more powerful and more loving being.
• Honoring your feelings and responding to those feelings. Remember, feelings are important signals, and even the so-called negative feelings of anger and fear serve the important purpose of alerting us to the obstacles in our life.
• Recognizing that the universe is literally made of love. "If we will just open ourselves to receive, like flowers opening to the sun, then everything is possible," says Ti Caine, hypnotherapist and life coach based in Sherman Oaks, California.

When things go wrong or goals don't materialize, most people blame their past, their parents, life in general or God. We are even encouraged to do this by friends and family who are well-meaning. We also devote a great deal of energy to settling for what is, without recognizing what we can become.

Search for a mental health professional near you.

All the great wisdom traditions speak of the unlimited power we have within us. Both quantum physics and psychology offer proof that our thoughts create our reality. Yet, Caine points out, many people strenuously object to the truth that we create our own reality.

"They argue that it's not loving to tell a sick person they had anything to do with creating their illness," he says. "Yet, by not owning their power when they are sick, they are consigning themselves to a life of being a victim of any virus or circumstance that comes their way. This powerlessness is the source of most depression, and it leads to more illness and problems such as overeating."

He insists it is more honest and even more loving to gently help people recognize the power they have to create their reality, including failures. Once we do that, then we must forgive ourselves for the painful experiences we have previously chosen in our lives. "I don't know all the parts of me that are creating the failed relationships, but I am willing to learn about them."

Only by seeing how in the past we have allowed problems to control us, and forgiving ourselves, can we really change and be free to go forward in life feeling more powerful, able to create the success and happiness we want.

Forgiveness, says Caine, is not only a form of self-love, it is completely an inside job. First you have to own your mistakes. Here is how.

• Imagine a future where you totally love yourself and have totally owned your power.
• Reach for an understanding of why you would choose limitations in your life. We are often taught by family and life experiences that being weak, sick or helpless is the way to get attention or help. Look at your own and other peoples attempts to get acceptance, attention and love. Ask yourself, what was I taught about being lovable? About being powerful and responsible for my life?
• Then forgive yourself for having made mistakes. Imagine how your future self would forgive you for a mistake.
• Then you can consciously create better methods for getting the acceptance, attention, love and success that you want.

Do You Love Yourself ?

Yes you, you who thinks you are not enough.

You who tries tirelessly

to do everything you can to show that you are deserving of love,

worthy to be here in this world,

but always worrying that it is not enough.

You that feels it is what you are able to do that shows your value instead of who you are.

This letter is for you.

Because here is the thing –

the day you were born the world sang;

for never before was there anyone like you,

magnificent you,

just for being.

So now as you try to fill your days doing things that make you feel valuable

the truth is:

your true value is in being the one and only you.

No matter your successes,

your failures,

the way you choose to live your life.

You are Enough.

I know you think that all the pain

and anger

and sadness

from the past make you somehow less valuable or unworthy,

but, oh, you just wear that cloak as a way to hide your light.

Shed the weight dear one,

I see you.

You are a gift

and the world is a better place with you in it.

Simply because you are here.

 

Before we can authentically give our love to another, we first need to acquire it for OURSELVES.