Did You Laugh Today???

Answer Smart

                   

A Smart Answer given by a man when
asked:
How u feel when any woman gives u a
flying kiss..??
.
.
.
Man:-”I hate such lazy women .!!:

A couple had a fight one night when they were going to bed, 

Husband Taunted: Good night mother of 3 kids. 

 

Wife Replied: Good night Father of none.

Women 1: How does your husband come on time?
Women 2: I have made a rule, I told him.
.

.

.
Romance will start sharp at 9′o clock with you or without you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

 

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me…

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number??

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the
mouth.

The policeman got out of his car and the teenager he stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the Cop said.

 
The kid replied, “Well I got here as fast as I could.”

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

 

Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no
longer interested?”
Pupil : “A teacher”.

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"

One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

 

A teacher says "OK, class. Today we're going to be talking about the tenses. If I say 'I'm beautiful,' what tense am I using?"

 

A boy raises his hand and says, "Obviously the past tense, Miss."

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" John asked.

 

"Yes or no," she replied.

At a painting exhibition somebody presented a painting that was completely black with a white dot in the middle.
“What does this painting represent?” asks a guy.

“This painting represents my point of view!”

A pretty young woman approaches the man behind the fabric counter and asks how
much some material costs. "One kiss per metre" came the reply. "Okay, I will take
five metres".
The man in anticipation quickly measured, wrapped the material and handed it to the
young woman who seized the package and pointed to the little old lady beside her and

said "Grandma's paying the bill.

A married couple have been out shopping for hours when the wife realizes that her husband has disappeared.

So she calls his cell phone.

"Where are you!?" she yells.

"Darling," he says, "do you remember that jewelry shop, the one where you saw that diamond necklace you loved? But I didn't have enough money at the time, so I said, 'Baby, it will be yours one day'?"

"Yes! she shouts, excitedly."

 

"Well, I'm in the bar next door."

Being very organized came in handy when I put an extension on my house. I made sure all my bills were paid promptly.

So I was mortified when I received a letter from an electrician that stated in bold letters, “Second and Final Notice!”

“I’m sorry,” I said when I called him. “I never saw the first notice.”

 

“I didn’t send one,” he told me. “I find second notices are much more effective.”

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"
 

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and said, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.

So how come I make $39,675 a year, a pretty small salary and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic................................

"Try doing it with the engine running."